Our Morrison who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name

PM Morrison, who some say descended from Pericles, drew himself up when asked by a reporter about his shifting Covid timeline. You will recall that, in March, Scott asserted that the Australian economy would have to be shut down for six months as the government worked to contain the spread of the coronavirus. You will also recall that, last Friday, Scott published his plan to begin reopening the Australian economy.

Scott was addressing the topic of bushfire recovery (bang-up job on that one, PM!—only a billion animals died!) when a reporter asked him to explain the four-month lockdown discrepancy.

“Two months ago you insisted to us, if you shut down, it had to be for six months,” the reporter said. “That was the only way you could squash the virus. How did you get that wrong?”

What follows is Scott’s response:

“Well, Andrew, I don’t share your certainty about the future that you seem to profess about how the coronavirus operates. We still have a long way to go on this. I think it is dangerous to assert this is all over, as your question suggests. So I wouldn’t agree with your assessment.”

We still have a long way to go, it is dangerous to assume it is over, and yet we are forging ahead with reopening. Seems like sound strategy to me. I think Canberra is using chatbot solutions to formulate Scott’s replies to the press’s questions.

“We are just now starting to reopen our economy,” Scott went on. “We are not fully certain about what the implications of all that will be, and that’s why we have to remain on our guard and that’s why the states are moving at their own pace to implement the road map I set out last week.”

We don’t know what the implications of all that will be. People may die. But to hell with public health—my corporate handlers are restless.

“I wouldn’t be so over-confident as you when it comes to where things are at,” Scott added. “I think Australians have to remain on their guard. I think the Chief Medical Officer was stressing this point yesterday. The reason we’re opening things up again is not because the virus is beaten. The virus is still out there – it hasn’t gone anywhere – it is still out there.”

The virus is still out there. But let us reopen. The good Lord shall bestow his magnanimous grace upon us and deliver us from Covid. Amen.